The FH campaign

I thought it might be too vulgar to put it as a title, but FH stands for Fuck Haifa.
So please let me plead my case: why is the Fuck Haifa Campaign so crucial for Lebanon in the present times.

For a long long time, shiites in Lebanon have been looked upon, you know they're the poor fellas with no taste at all (think of fuchsia and pistachio), their women covered from head to toe in black... Not what Lebanon prided itself on or wants to sell itself on. Lebanon is known for its free press, democracy, its beautiful women, and most importantly for horny lads all over the Arab world, its fuckable women!

Yes yes, some lebanese women take it up the ass and in the cunt! They will be very discreet about it, but they do! With a little preference for the up the ass because technically the girl would still be considered a virgin.

So the easy girls, or sluts, or whores (you pick the word) as they're known in the east were mostly the christian ones, the non muslim ones. Yes, christians have had for a long time not only the monopoly for every miss lebanon, every renown female singer, but also for every slutty female (singer).

And then came Haifa and Boom! (Literally boom, I swear those boobs are gonna explode some day!) And there goes the christian whoriness monopoly!

From my atheist point of view, even though I think Haifa is portraying women as an object, (no brains just boobs), I think she's a blessing in disguise.

Why is that? Well here comes the Fuck Haifa Campaign initiative.

Haifa is the sole person in Lebanon who can make the Lebanese people thrive towards peace! Yes, every hetero gun wielding man (the bigger the gun, the smaller the dick) in Lebanon would like to fuck Haifa. So I urge Haifa to do charitable work and let those men fuck her, that is on one condition : if they swear on her boobs that they'll never ever make war again! And if they don't honour their promise, the boobs explode and no more sexy Haifa! sexy Haifa ba7!

That way all the christian sects along with muslim ones will come together in Haifa! and civil war ba7!

Is that a great idea or what??

Thank you who? Thank you Haifa!!!

PS: not to be taken very seriously... and sorry Haifa in case you read this, nothing personal but you are way too hot and I'm jealous!

May allah be with us

Or the typical Lebanese/Arab wishful thinking mode!

Well that phrase has been said by every Lebanese person lately, fearing a resurgence of Lebanese stupidity (a.k.a. civil conflict) or Israeli and hezbollah backyard experimentation (a.k.a. fireworks in Lebanon).

Well let me tell you something, wash your tongue with soap and stop saying allah every time you have to utter a word! I urge every Lebanese citizen to truly speak their mind and replace "allah" by their true inspiration, their first preoccupation: SEX.

So here's a suggestion of words that are appropriate to use: fuck, eir or kess. I recommend not using more words, as the expression would loose some of its meaning.

By doing so not only do you relieve allah by lessening the times you solicit him (think of it as dialling 911 every time you utter his word, the poor fella must be overworked and underpaid), but there's a purely individualistic good feel factor here. You feel less of a hypocrite.


PS: If you have other prime interests than sex, it is applicable too.